On November 8th 2018 at 8:30am, hung over in Health and Human Performance (HHP) I was looking for a way to avoid paying attention in class. Searching online I found that’s it’s pretty easy to be a wedding “officiant”. I thought I could have a lot of fun at the bars drunkenly “marrying” my friends… And without knowing it “United By Ubl” was born.
I didn’t know it in 2018, but in the state of Wisconsin you don’t actually have to be ordained, or licensed to perform a ceremony. All that matters is that the couple feels you have the authority to marry them. So, if anyone is interested in being a wedding officiant, please reach out, I’m happy to help you through the process and your first wedding.
The first wedding I ever officiated was for Brother Aaron Victor and his wife Taylor on May 6th of 2023. Since then, I’ve officiated for two other SigEp couples and countless friends/family. Next year I’ll be officiating for Brother Robby Oakley and his wife-to-be Rachyl.
Couples have asked me to officiate for them in a variety of ways, anything from a gift to simple text message. There is no “right way” to do it, all of them are meaningful. I’ve even been asked to write a wedding ceremony, and coach a family/friend of the couple to perform the ceremony.
The first step to writing a successful wedding ceremony script is to remember a few things: For most couples this is their first wedding… For every couple, it’s THEIR DAY.
As we start to draft a wedding ceremony there is a lot of details to work out. For couples who are very detailed, everything from the color socks I wear, to who’s name is said first during the announcement is figured out. For less detailed couples, or for those busy with other wedding details, there are some industry standards to start with.
The biggest factor in a couples wedding is the “unity ceremony” or what action is done to show the couple coming together as one. Common examples of this include planting a tree, knot tying, and sand mixing. For most couples they want something more personal, less “off the shelf”, that’s tailored specifically to them. This is where an experienced officiant is the greatest help and can offer you some unique ideas to make your day perfect. I’ve seen everything from a branding to making lemonade.
After we have the wedding ceremony worked out. It’s time for the couple to enjoy their day.
Day of, as the officiant, I try to worry about the details so the couple doesn’t have to. Making sure wedding party members do don’t have their fly’s unzipped, making sure the mother of the bride knows to stand when the bride walks down the aisle, so the other guest know to as well etc…
Following the ceremony, it’s time to legally marry the couple. Getting a wedding license so that the state can officially recognize your marriage typically occurs about 45-30 days before the wedding. I assist couples through this process by ensuring they know who to talk to, what documents to bring, and when to apply. The only left to do on the day of the wedding is to sign on the dotted line!
To every couple who’s let me be a part of your day, Thank you!
It is an honor and a privilege to be a small a role in the start of your everlasting happiness. I’m glad that now, I actually get to marry my friends like I thought I would.
To couples looking for an officiant, or assistance during their wedding day, please contact me at unitedbyubl@gmail.com.
#325 Jacob Ubl